If anyone claims that they have had the perfect life, they are a liar. Plain and simple. In some form, everyone's life has (maybe not my type) of bipolar ups and downs.
The tagline for the movie "Almost Famous" is similiar to my url address b/c it is as close as I could come for the upcoming blogs and memoirs. My life certainly has not been boring, but it hasn't been easy. I fall into the millions of others that have our mental mayhem swirling in our brains that we were genetically predisposed to, and more than likely, our parents have NO idea what they have passed on to their children.
My mother tries SO hard to understand all of my problems, but my father doesn't. I have bipolar disorder (w/agoraphobia), and it's progressing more and more each day. I have OCD/with an emphasis on compulsive thoughts, but a 20-year SEVERE control of trichotillomania. I was too fucking traumatized as a child caught in a world of misunderstandings to be plagued in my adult life as well.
I've had two nervous breakdowns. I have severe panic disorder, insomnia and depression. In fact, it is a fucking wonder that I can even get out of bed in the morning since I am unfuckingemployed due to the above issues. It's not that I'm not looking (HARD), but there are days that I can hardly move and feel like I am rotting from the inside out it's so difficult.
I also have IED, which is Intermittent Explosive Disorder. I can smash glass at the blink of an eye, punch a massive hole in the wall if a trigger flashes and my other favorite is to smash ANYTHING that might bring on that trigger. (Actually, I am running out of things that remind of someone who stole half of my life and heart, so hopefully I am TRULY done...).
So, this is a short blog, but the beginning of many. I just want to share how many ups and down in life we can have, create and have bestowed on us - unwillingly, but still have the courage to move forward.
Twitter is the best thing since sliced bread. It's the most honest social networking site, I love it, and am so lucky that my #LLBFF introduced me to it for the same reasons in which she registered.
Next blog will be interesting. Bet on it.
Peace,
M
